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Spartacus and the SCOTUS show

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Unread 09.11.18, 12:24 PM
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Spartacus and the SCOTUS show

09.10.18 09:01 PM

I presumed the Democrats would put on a show for the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh will be the second Justice installed on the nation’s high court since Hillary Clinton hit the wall. President Donald Trump isn’t even two years into his administration, and he has already put as many people on the Supreme Court that Barack Obama did in eight! Trump hasn’t even scrubbed all the Sharpton out of the rug in the Oval Office, and he’s already blunted the effects of the “Wise Latina” and that other lady. And with “the Notorious RBG” approaching her “sell by” date, Trump could tilt the court for a generation.

From a liberal’s perspective, this is a five-alarm fire with all the trimmings. Not only did Trump nuke Hillary Clinton’s presidential aspirations, he’s starting to aim the flamethrower at Obama’s legacy. Trump undoing signature Obama achievements like funding for Islamic terrorist dictators and illegal aliens’ abortions is bad enough, but negating Obama’s attempt to turn the Supreme Court blue calls for all hands on deck.

Given the hysteria with which Democrats react to crises like their favorite vegan place running out of quinoa or someone famous eating at a Chick-Fil-A, I figured they’d set records with their meltdown over Kavanaugh. And given their close association with all the cool kids in Hollywood and on Broadway, I figured the “Stop Kavanaugh” show, while futile, would at least be well-produced.

I was so disappointed. Instead of Stephen Spielberg and Lin-Manuel Miranda, I got Senators Cory Booker (D-NJ) and Kamala Harris (D-California, co-starring in a production of Spartacus that would get booed off the stage at a junior high school talent show. Instead of a show worthy of its own Hulu miniseries run, I got girls dressed up in ersatz Handmaid’s Tale costumes, wandering around Washington, D.C. like walking advertisements for the difficulties of finding gainful employment after graduating with a “gender studies” degree. Instead of a Tony Award-winning musical with a show-stopping closing number for the ages, I got Rosie O’Donnell outside the White House fence bellowing like a deformed walrus. Instead of a jaw-dropping monologue, delivered with perfect intonation by an Oscar-winning megastar, I got random left-wing hate group members like Linda Sarsour shrieking profanities at the tops of their lungs.

Booker literally faked a violation of Senate rules to release “classified documents” which ended up proving that Kavanaugh agrees with him on the topic of racial profiling. Pretending to be brave might work on the millennials who think paying their own cellphone bills is terrifying, but if his “Spartacus moment” was supposed to be the kick off for his 2020 presidential campaign, Booker might want to consider what happened to Spartacus.

Harris just talked. And talked. And talked. The former California Attorney General clearly forgot the part about cross-examinations when you let the witness actually get a word in edgewise. After flapping her gums at Kavanaugh like a chicken on speed, she whined about being portrayed as “hysterical.” I agreed with that part. Harris isn’t hysterical. Harris is positively unhinged.

The social justice activists made their hatred for Kavanaugh apparent. Through the machinations — and money — of their Democrat overlords, they conducted a series of stunts designed, I think, to draw attention to the dangers Justice Kavanaugh would present to “women’s rights.” But their — sorry, Senator Harris — hysterics not only missed “dramatic,” they fell short of “funny,” and landed on their faces in “embarrassing.” I had to marvel at liberals who claim Kavanaugh will take away their precious abortions, their rights as women, and even their very lives, but also claim solidarity with Sarsour, an advocate for Sharia law. If Linda’s buddies get their way, women won’t be able to protest at the Supreme Court. They won’t even be allowed near it.

Of course, the Democrat/media complex gave Booker’s stunt the hero’s billing he wanted, not the scathing reviews he deserved. They chased down Harris’s wild conspiracy theories like they were the “pentagon papers,” instead of pointing out that her rambling, accusatory diatribe was probably a cry for help from a profoundly disturbed woman. They covered every leftist lunatic with an ax to grind like they were the voices of the American people, instead of the increasingly disconnected weirdos they must be to walk around dressed like extras from an overrated TV show.

It should be noted that Booker and Harris are among the two most prominent names in the Democrats’ 2020 presidential early handicapping. The adult-sized toddlers responsible for the rest of last week’s antics are likely to be among their most ardent supporters. If this is their idea of how to demonstrate their disapproval of a Supreme Court nominee, imagine the cartoonish hijinks their presidencies would mean. And then imagine the looks on their faces when Trump replaces another SCOTUS justice — sometime during his second term.

— Ben Crystal

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