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MTV I Just Want My Pants Backon Worst Cable Content of the Week

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MTV I Just Want My Pants Backon Worst Cable Content of the Week

The Worst Cable Content of the Week

I Just Want My Pants Backon MTV
Episode Summary

For the second week in a row, MTV’s I Just Want My Pants Back (Thursdays, 11:00 p.m. ET) deserves recognition for being the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week. The February 9th episode of the program MTV’s head of programming David Janollari has boasted is aimed at 12-year-olds focused on a “foursome” between lead characters Eric and Stacy, as well as depicting a “relationship” composed entirely of meaningless, exploitative casual sex between Tina and her occasional “texting hookup” Brett.

The episode opens with Tina and Jason (who, uniquely for this program, are just friends and do NOT have a sexual relationship) getting drunk at a bar. Jason wants to approach his acquaintance Lench, who has promised to help him find a job, but Tina refuses to say hello to “the guy talking to Frankentits" – a reference to Lench’s busty girlfriend, about whom Lench boasts, “I’m gonna climb those lady mountains tonight.” After offering Jason a drink of “moonshine,” Lench promises him work. But when Jason quits his job, he finds Lench has only given him an unpaid internship. Ultimately, while at a party Jason learns about a job with a recording company – but fouls up his job interview when he sees the former sex partner who stole his pants and abruptly leaves the interview to run after her.

If this were the only plot, IJWMPB would be a somewhat crass, tedious, and boring show – but not a disgusting one. Unfortunately, Jason’s job-hunting travails form a trivial part of the program, almost a subplot. Instead, the lion’s share of the episode is devoted to Eric and Stacy, a young couple who become distracted and angry by the non-stop noisy sex in which their upstairs neighbors constantly engage. Confronting neighbors Beth and Kevin, the new couple invite Eric and Stacy to come “play with us” that night. Although it is clear that this is an invitation to engage in group sex, Eric and Stacy agree, essentially “daring” one another to play “chicken,” seeing which of them will be the first to draw back from sex with others. (This is identical to a plot that appeared on an episode of Fox’s sitcom New Girl recently...thus demonstrating once again that, on television, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)

That evening, Eric and Stacy arrive for the party. Kevin and Beth begin necking in front of them, so Eric and Stacy do the same. The situation escalates when Beth takes Eric's hand and places it on her own breast.

Kevin: "How nice are my girl's girls?"

Eric: "Very nice, friendly."

Beth: "Spoiler alert, they're pierced."

Kevin: "Tell my girl what you want to do with her boobs."

Beth: "Wait. Don't tell me -- tell them."

Beth removes her shirt, thrusting her bra-clad breasts into Eric’s face.

Stacey: "Tell 'em, Er."

Eric: "Ok, I guess I want to smush 'em together and see if your piercings stick like magnets."

Beth: "Yeah. Do it!"

As they talk, Kevin reaches over and fondles Stacey's breast. Kevin suggests they all move to the bedroom. Suddenly, another man enters the room. Kevin introduces him as Felix, their roommate, and apologizes that the sex party started without him. Felix remarks, "It's okay. I'll catch up," then begins fondling and necking with Beth. Beth, Kevin and Felix, all half-naked, embrace and neck with one another.

Ultimately, Stacey whispers to Eric that she is not into orgies, and the duo sneaks out – but not before all the twelve-year-olds David Janollari says he wants in the audience have been told and shown that group sex is a typical, everyday occurrence they can expect to encounter and even should experience as a part of a normal life.

Meanwhile, Tina is with Brett, who has established a pattern of calling her “during that magical time between his third and fourth beers,” and with whom Tina (for no discernable reason) has been having sex. The two exchange the kind of cruel, post-coital banter typical of the jaded and emotionless characters who populate MTV: “You didn’t make any huge errors…but don’t flatter yourself,” Tina sneers at her casual sex partner. But Tina is taken aback when Brett asks her to go to a party with him, apparently panicked at the idea of having a relationship that does not consist solely of meaningless sex. In the event, Tina is put off by Brett’s snobbish friends, dumps him, and returns to her apartment…where she can indulge in her preferred kind of relationship: whining over the phone to Jason about how dull her sex life is.

It is not news that, in it’s post-music video era, MTV’s programming revolves solely around irresponsible sex. This is true even of its so-called “reality” shows, like Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, The Real World, and Jersey Shore; but the network’s plunge into scripted programming has taken the theme to a far deeper, far more disturbing, and even sickening level. What teenager needs THIS kind of indoctrination?

Yet that is what MTV provides...while forcing every cable- or satellite-subscribing parent in America to subsidize it.

TAKE ACTION NOW! Click here to voice your support for cable consumer choice.

@ThePTC Parents Television Council - 707 Wilshire Blvd Ste 2075 - Los Angeles, CA 90017
Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1. When in doubt, mumble. 2. When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in charge, ponder.
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