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The WIRE: Your week in review

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Unread 04.20.18, 03:25 PM
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The WIRE: Your week in review

04.20.18 11:00 AM

From Comey’s new tune to Air Force Un — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!

Word broke this week that former FBI Director, and current selfie-circuit star, James Comey was the one who ordered the internal FBI investigation that led to the termination — and brand new criminal referral — of Andrew McCabe, of whom Comey has repeatedly sung public praise.

“You’re my boy, Andy. Now get under the bus.”

That feeling when you’re one of the biggest reasons Hillary lost, and now her people are your biggest fans.


But the week ended with the release of the memos Comey wrote about his interactions with President Donald Trump. And while they essentially exonerated Trump, they also indicate Comey lied, leaked and inexplicably left behind written proof of his duplicity. Gonna be awkward when the former FBI Director gets arrested by his former agency.

You have the right to remain silent. And for the love of God man, take advantage of it!

In a remarkable coincidence, guess who’s joining Trump’s legal team? You don’t gotta love him, you don’t even gotta like him, but you can’t argue, he’s good at lawyerin’.

Mueller’s response: “Oh, sh*t.”

Democrats hit the alarm after learning that Secretary of State nominee Mike Pompeo visited North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un over Easter, and Kim appears ready to end nearly 70 years of unremitting hostility. No wonder they’re freaking out; Trump did more in two years than Obama even sniffed in eight.

Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech is gon’ be lit AF!

Senior U.S. officials, including Pompeo, have spoken with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un himself to organize the upcoming meeting with Trump. Kim’s apparent defrosting is catching many by surprise, but I think the little dude is just lonely.

“The guy who usually answers the phone was executed yesterday for having the wrong haircut. How can I help you?”

When a manager of a Starbucks in Philadelphia allegedly called the cops to eject two men from their store for “waiting while black,” the protests — including demands the entire chain be shut down — began almost immediately. A place slinging overpriced swill, which has told 2nd Amendment supporters they don’t want our business, is learning how fickle the Left can be? Heh.

I’ll have a venti schadenfreude-a-ccino, please.

No I don’t want an extra shot with that! Extra shots are racist!

Check out Zack the barista. I betcha homeboy wishes he hadn’t majored in feminist literature.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo issued an executive order this week restoring voting eligibility to Empire State felons. Partisan vote-buying by funneling felons into voting booths probably seems like a good idea to Democrats. It might seem less good when their Congresspeople have to get court permission to go to Washington.

They won’t be able to get past the Capitol Hill metal detectors with those ankle monitors.

Cuomo doubled down on the dumbass this week, campaigning for the illegal alien vote by declaring “I am an undocumented person.” No, you’re not. But I fully support ICE deporting you, just to watch the show.

Let me in! I was born in frickin’ Queens, fer cryin out loud!

“Stormy Daniels” did a little dance this week, releasing a sketch of a man she claims threatened her in a Las Vegas parking lot in 2011. The sketch, which strongly resembles her own husband, also drew chuckles for some of the other people it looked like, like Tom Brady, Willem Dafoe and even a young Val Kilmer. But authorities now think they’re onto the right suspect.

A BOLO has been issued for “an even dumber Matt Damon.”

To make Stormy’s saga even stupider, she attended the hearing regarding Trump attorney Michael Cohen’s legal travails, which turned the whole thing into even more of circus.

Just the shoes, Ms. “Daniels.”

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer showed up outside the courthouse, ostensibly to call Trump a “stain on the Presidency.” Man, if there’s one guy I don’t wanna hear talking about “stains,” it’s “Client 9.”

Turns out, he was just there trying to score a date with Daniels.

Disgraced Obama Attorney General Eric Holder announced he’s heading to New Hampshire on June 1. He’s laying the groundwork.

President? Nah. Mr. Fast’n’Furious is setting up the Sinaloa Cartel’s planned expansion into northern New England.

TIME magazine is still a thing. I know this because they released their annual “TIME 100” list of people they consider the most influential on the planet. Among those who made the list — Representative Maxine Waters (D-LA Riots). To be fair, though, she is influential.

She’s influenced millions — to vote Republican.

While the rest of the list was predictably weighted heavily towards leftists, there was one unmissably beautiful bright spot:

Guess who fell off the list?

Meet Randa Jarrar, the tenured Fresno State professor who profanely mocked Barbara Bush’s passing and even gave a phone number to critics which turned out to be a mental health crisis hotline, flooding a lifeline for people — some considering suicide — with spam.

“Free” college seems like a bad idea, until you realize “expensive” college isn’t worth more.

Everything you need to know about the IRS: Their entire system crashed — on Tax Day. If only there was a way to fund the federal government without incompetent boobs who are too busy threatening conservatives at gunpoint.

I woulda thought since Obama left they’d have the time to keep their crap working properly.

According to Democratic Party vice-chairhole and Representative Keith Ellison (D-Louis Farrakhan’s Lap), “Women are dying because (Democrats) lose elections.”

I didn’t know there were any women survived Trump’s tax cuts and the end of Net Neutrality.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

The post The WIRE: Your week in review appeared first on Personal Liberty®.

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